Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Well, tomorrow marks 5 weeks since I have arrived in Juticalpa. I have to admit that the time is starting to fly a lot faster, and I almost feel as though I have no one real story to report this week. I guess that is what happens when you have been somewhere for an extended period of time and start to fall into a routine. The past week has been just that: a start of feeling like I am falling into a routine, and it's kind of a nice feeling!
In any case, I have been extremely busy over the past week or so, between social events and planning at school, and just overall exhaustion (I have to report that I went to bed at 7:30p.m, as I was totally wiped out!). I go to bed REALLY early and I sleep like a baby here, which is a nice change from when I am home in the states and I lie awake at night worrying about different obligations for the next day or listening to my college-aged neighbors blast "Beat It" on repeat at all hours of the night when I have to get up the next day for work. I just made the realization that I am learning to sleep through the nightly serenade of various farm animals as well and I never thought that I would. Si, I think I am starting to get adjusted!
Probably the best news I have to report as of late is the progress that my students are beginning to make. It is slow progress and it takes every single ounce of energy within me to teach daily, but my students are beginning to conform to my behavioral expectations. Additionally, they have begun coming up to me and asking me to use the bathroom or go get a glass of water in beautiful English. When they learn to say something new in my language, they run up to me excitedly and are so proud of themselves. They are so eager to learn and unafraid to make mistakes, and I admire that about them. I still feel really embarassed to even make attempts to speak Spanish, as I feel as though I sound really ridiculous. I also worry about my grammar being correct, even though right now I know that it is more important to just relay the messages that I want to get across. Today I took a look at my students and their attitude towards learning a new language. I decided today that in a lot of ways they are teaching ME a lot more than I am actually teaching them. They greet me every morning with lots of hugs, kisses, and flowers hand-picked from their gardens. The boys have taken to greeting me every morning with a "Misssssss estas es muy linda!" (Miss, you are very pretty/beautiful) and my little girls like to draw me pictures and play with my hair. I guess that despite the fact that I feel like all I do is nag them and have to criticize negative behavior; they really do love me! I am starting to really enjoy the challenge of teaching them, and I adore having my very own classroom for the first time. I am starting to feel really lucky to be here!
I am keeping this post short as I have a lot to do. I do have a few stories I would like to share with you all, but I have to get through some curriculum planning tonight and the effects of another huge dinner are starting to wear on me (i.e...fatigue from overeating!). Therefore, I will post some more this weekend when I can collect all of my thoughts. I know a lot of you probably haven't heard from me over the past few days/week. We have been having some connectivity problems at our house and our internet has been VERY slow. Just know that I am thinking of you always and love all of your inspirational emails and kind words. Love you!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

This has been the most emotionally draining day of my time here in Juticalpa thus far. It started off with some excitement this morning with a closing of school due to the fact that there was no electricity or running water at Santa Clara. Now; you might ask "why would school be closed for no running water? Don't half the kids not have that in their own homes?". Well, the cafeteria fixes HOT lunches for all 300 kids every single day at school so without hot water, everyone would go hungry! In any case, we went ALL the way to school only to get back on the buses and go back home. Half of the parents weren't even called! Here; it seems to be no big deal for the school bus to return an hour later dropping the children off BACK home because school has been cancelled. No one even seemed to bat an eyelash that their children were back home, and the kids didn't seem unusually excited to have an extra day off. Only in Honduras!

In any case, I settled in for yet (another) day of doing essentially nothing here in Juticalpa. There is no T.V here, and I have already read the half or dozen or so novels that were left in my apartment from Jess and Colleen. I decided to slip on my Nikes and my ipod and take a leisurely stroll through town and just have time to process that this is in fact me and this is my life now. I walked around town for about 90 minutes; totally losing track of time and just taking in all of the sights and sounds around me that have become my daily life. I saw the same children I see every afternoon when I set out to get my afternoon treat (a frozen coffee drink!) walking barefoot and carrying their buckets full of fruit to sell to passerby. I stopped to buy some guavas from them and noticed the open sores on their hands and feet, obvious complications of not having access to any type of bandaids or antiseptics to bandage their wounds. I walked past at least 5 of my students in my travels; smiling to myself at the "Misssss! misssssss!" that they called after me as I walked past. I stopped to say "buenos tardes" to the guards who work outside the Hotel Bourqeron and greet me with a smile and give me a sense of comfort and safety when I pass them every single afternoon on the walk home from work. I just realized that I truly am part of the community here. After just one month, it is as though I am no longer a stranger; but have been a part of Juticalpa for much longer. Strangers look out for me. Children stop to say hello and want to hold my hand and walk with me as I stroll pass; usually with groceries in tow. It is a completely different world out here; one where people actually interact with one another. Back home, I usually avoid making eye contact with the people I have contact with on a daily basis to and from work while traveling on the MBTA. Here though; it is much more of a community. Although I communicate simply with a smile or a wave, it is as though we all understand one another and are all looking out for one another.
In any case, during my travels this afternoon; I heard a loud crash up ahead. I was headed to the grocery store; as Annie happened to call me during my stroll to ask me to pick some things up at the pulperia in my neighborhood. I walked towards the scene of the loud crash and saw that a man lay there writhing and bleeding to death. Feeling my stomach churn, I watched as people seemed to just come out of the woodwork to join in on spectating on the accident that had just occured. I did not see exactly what happened (I had probably missed it by a minute, thankfully), but it appears as though it was a middle aged man who was hit by a vehicle while riding his bicycle. I wanted to walk away, but something made me stay. I watched as the police and fire department showed up, along with the local newscasters. I watched as what appeared to be a priest stood over the man and administered last rights. I watched as the people of the neighborhood sat in silence paying their respects to one of their own. Then out of nowhere appeared a man who appeared to be a family member of the victim. He spoke to the police officers and had a younger girl with him who could not have been over 12 years old. I watched as the news was broken to him and was shocked to see him turn to me and hug me while crying. Here I stood on the side of the road with him, a perfect stranger; and it was to me that he turned
for a hug. The gringa. The only real outsider in the crowd. I watched as dozens of eyes seemed to stare.All along throughout my time here; I have thought I was feeling what it was like to be the minority for once. Today; I realized that that is not the case at all. I felt like I was one with the people here for the first time; and it touched my heart to see this man in his deepest shock and pain to turn to me for consolation. I was deeply appreciative that I had purchased sunglasses yesterday (my other ones broke) to hide the tears that were in my eyes. I only hugged that stranger for about 10 seconds, but it felt like an eternity. It was today that I remembered my real reason for wanting to come here. These people may be poor in the material sense, but in spirit and love they are richer than many of us will ever be. I will never forget today and the brief moment of support I was able to offer this stranger. I hope that all of you who read this blog today will offer up a moment of silence for this stranger who's life was cut short by tragedy today. As the crowd started to disperse, I noticed the sounds of the world going on around me. A man with an ice cream cart was ringing his bell; about a dozen children gathered around his side; jumping up and down with Lempira in their hands to purchase a tasty treat. I noticed a crowd of teenager boys roughhousing and kicking a soccer ball. A group of women stood on a street corner, cooing over a newborn baby which one of them held. Life goes on. The scene made me think at once of the idea of the circle of life. On this particular afternoon, a life was cut short. But life continues on. It was very eerie to be amongst such variances in mood and attitude. Now; I must go and lay down for awhile. I think I need a nap! I love and miss you all!!!!

Friday, September 12, 2008

A couple of quotes...

That motivate me, inspire me, and I can relate to right now....

"In this life , we cannot do great things. We can only do small things and do them with great love"

"Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand."- Mother Teresa

"You may only be one person to the world, but you may also BE the world to one person"

"You can give without loving. But you cannot love without giving." -- Amy Carmichael

"Spread love wherever you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier..."





Lessons Learned Thus Far...

I am going to keep this brief and to the point; as I am getting up at the crack of dawn to leave for Tegus, but I wanted to share with you a few "Lessons Learned' thus far in my 3 weeks in Honduras.

First of all:

Honduran teachers are MUCH different than American teachers. In Honduras, we save major, detailed projects for Friday afternoon. Generally, we begin them at 2:45 (15 minutes before the bus is to arrive to take us home for the weekend.) They are unexpected and can take up to 5 hours. Today, I had the intentions of coming home at 3:00 to relax for a bit, run, then pack for Tegus. To my surprise, I learned that we had to make elaborate posters for a parade on Monday at 3:15 p.m when the bus was 15 minutes late. I never did leave school until 7:00p.m tonight. I think it is a law in Juticalpa that anything that takes a lot of concentration, detail, and effort is supposed to take place when the work week is OVER.

-Secondly, Hondurans apparently don't believe in the usage of napkins or appropriate cutlery. I learned that this week through the celebrations of "Dia Del Nino" and a birthday party. Birthday cake? Who needs a plate or a fork for that? Ice Cream in a cup? Who needs a spoon! Also, Honduran's have no issue with giving a six year old hyperactive child a huge slice of cake, Pepsi, AND pixie sticks at 9:00 in the morning. Sure, why not put as much sugar in a child as possible before they are supposed to sit still for a 60 minute class spoken in a language that they do not understand. No problem, right? Might as well throw some ice cream in there too! :-)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Feliz Dia Del Nino...

It's been a week since I've updated, so I feel as though it is about time as I know everyone is anxiously waiting. The reason I haven't written anything in the past week is because I have to be honest; the thought of being here for a year is starting to seem really daunting, and I didn't want to post anything with any type of negative undertone, but I feel as though I should be "real" in my writings, so here goes...
In any case, things are starting to settle down here and I am beginning to make the realization that I am actually here for an entire year with a list a million miles long of the things that I hope to get accomplished. Teaching my class on a daily basis is the most draining (both physically AND mentally) challenge I have ever taken on. I sit here at night and wonder how on earth I'm supposed to teach SUBJECTS like Math and Science to these kids when they don't even understand my directions to "sit down" or "open your books". It seems like a such a daunting task and I genuinely wonder how I am going to ever get anything done. Furthermore, I feel cranky and grouchy by mid-afternoon because most of my day is spent correcting the behavior of 25% of my class rather than actually TEACHING anything. Some of them are starting to come around, but the behavioral expectations are just NOT up to par with anything in the states. I guess I am going to just have to keep "plugging alone". I just don't like the fact that I am here to make a difference in these kid's lives and it seems like all I do is reprimand them. Still though; on a positive note they are always ready with hugs every morning. I don't know why they seem to love me so much. I surely do not love myself lately at the end of the day. The combination of the heat, lack of resources and directions, and just general cultural differences in the school system makes me not nearly as pleasant as I want to be. Maria and I find ourselves "snapping" at each other when we get home in the afternoons, and neither of us like it. To end this negative aspect of my post on a more positive note; we all decided today that we are going to sit down and try to recall one really positive thing that happened on that particular day in order to remember why we are actually here. For me today, it would have to be one of my students; Jafeth. He is the brother of a girl named Nemisis who is in the 5th grade that I absolutely adore. In any case, I met Nemisis back in April and fell in love with her, and I JUST made the connection today that Jafeth is her brother! All week long I have been talking to Annie about how he is so adorable and I want to take him home with me! Imagine my surprise today when I made the family connection :-). Anyways, Jafeth came into my class Monday morning saying "No me gusta la clase de Inglies", which obviously broke my heart as I don't want these kids to not like me or what I'm teaching! Anyways, today he came up to me on the bus and gave me a candy and said that he LOVES English class. I guess I am making some progress....baby steps! Sorry that this post had to be so negative as I don't want it to ever be that way at all...I just feel like I have an incredible challenge in front of me and I'm not sure how to even begin approaching it. Bree and I decided last night we have to take everything day by day and not focus TOO much on the future or we'll get exhausted and feel like it's hopeless. So that is what I am doing. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers though. I definitely need them.....
On to another subject: the poverty we see he on a day to day basis. Coming here in April only gave me a brief glimpse into what the situation was like in this country. Once you live here and amongst the people, you see it in much greater detail. I have neighbors with 16 kids living in a house with a tin roof. The children come knocking on my door each day asking for water, and jumping up and down excitedly if I give it to them (as though it were Christmas). This afternoon, Eric, John and I decided that we wanted the real Honduran experience. We decided to walk back to our apartments in town all the way from Santa Clara. It was about a 90 minute walk, and I later learned that the heat index was 109 degrees (thank you, weather.com!). Anyways, I have met several amazing people over the course of the past 3 weeks who walk 4-10 miles every single day back and forth to work in the heata and are just grateful to have a job. I came home drenched in sweat, tired, and overheated to the point where I passed out on my couch for 2 hours when I got home (and I am NOT an afternoon napper!). On the way home, we passed through the village on a dirt road leading to Santa Clara. Children seemed to come out of the woodwork, pulling out a large rope. The stood on the opposite ends of the street with the rope, so as to create a baracade so we could not go through without "noticing" them. (As though that would even be possible anyways!). The children came up to use begging for money. One adult man even asked us for money. The asked to take pictures with us. I gave them 20 lempira from my purse (equivalent to about 1 U.S dollar) and felt guilty that I did not give them more. I saw one of their homes on the side of the road. It was nothing more than a concrete frame with a cardboard door and windows. I thought of how hot it must be in there. I cannot imagine living among these conditions. Back at the "casa del las ninas" (what we affectionately call "the girls house") we find ourselves worried about the well running out of water, or complaining about creepy critters who find their way into our homes at night. (As a sidebar, we DID have an actual tarantula in our living room on Saturday night and I legit had a heart attack!). But compared to the people we live amongst and walk amongst on a daily basis, we are lucky. We have money to eat everyday (although it may not be the steak or sushi that we actually want), water to shower MOST days (albeit cold and we have to turn the water off and on), and our house is clean and comfortable (we even have a cleaning lady come in twice a week to tidy up and do laundry..I never even had that back in the states.) In summary, even the way we are living here in Honduras is extremely comfortable compared to the life of the people in our barrio. And our life back in the States? I can't even think of it anymore without feeling really guilty, and most importantly; more appreciative than ever.
Speaking of appreciative, we are headed on a road trip this weekend to Tegus for a little R&R. I can't wait to sink my teeth into a Burger King cheeseburger, take a HOT shower, and go to watch a movie (in English!) We may even get a room at a hotel with a T.V! A month ago, I wouldn't have ever given these simple amenities a second thought. Now, these simple pleasures seem like treats. I guess I am realizing just how lucky and privileged I have been in this life to experience these things!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

A great day...

I have to say that Colleen and Jessica (last year's volunteers) weren't kidding when they said that the first couple of months here would be a series of highs and lows. They could not be any more on par with the way I have been feeling for the past couple of days. Yesterday afternoon after work; I had the house to myself for the first time since I have moved in and I started thinking. All I could think of was "wow. I am really living in an apartment in Central America with complete strangers for an entire year and teaching 41 students in a language that I do not understand." It is kind of a really liberating feeling, but at the same time, there are moments that I still feel unsure of myself and what I am going to be able to accomplish here. I am having a difficult time controlling my class. I don't think it is so much the language barrier that is an issue, but the whole "self control" issue. The children here do not have the same behavioral expectations in school as they do at home. Add that to the fact that I have 41 students (28 of which are boys) and you have the ingredients for chaos. Today, we got through an entire morning without anyone kicking, hitting, or punching each other. They are starting to understand that I won't tolerate this. I think we are starting to make progress!
In any case, today was a great day. I think I started to feel a lot better about things when almost all of my afternoon students hugged me on the way in. Then; one little girl named Mary came up to me and said "misssss, I love you!". It was so cute! I feel badly that I cannot communicate with them in Spanish though. It does frustrate me, and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't. After work, I sat and talked with my new friend Wendy (she works in the cafeteria, and is the sweetest person ever!). Another cafeteria worker named Ana came in with her baby and handed her right to me. Her name is Leah Nazareth, and she is three months old and as cute as a button! At that moment; I remembered what I love most about this place. A total stranger handed me their child and entrusted them in my arms. It was such a great feeling to hold baby Lea Nazareth, and I think I am going to offer to watch her some night as I miss being around infants like I was back home.
I must finish this entry as I have so much to do. In about an hour; Annie, Padre, and the rest of the volunteers are coming over. We are going to cook dinner and sit outside and play the guitar and just chat. It will be nice and relaxing after today. I am starting to feel as though I most crave the minutes of actually "being" and doing nothing. When my roommates and I get home in the afternoon, we oftentimes just grab a couch and sit and listen to the rain (it is still the rainy season, and it pours everyday either late in the afternoon or in the evening)or chat on our computers. Sometimes, we will sit for an hour without saying a word to one another. That would never happen back home, where everything is so fast paced. It feels good to have some peace and quiet. (Except of course, during the nighttime when the animals start...it feels like an "Old MacDonald" serenade here at all hours of the night and I can't seem to get used to it. Somehow; the sounds of cows mooing and roosters crowing at midnight does not compare to the sound of the MBTA whizzing by in Boston!) In any case, hope you are all doing well back home! I think there is a meeting tonight for the upcoming mission team. Send everyone my love and let them know I am thinking of them!

Monday, September 1, 2008

The first day of school...

I don't think I have ever been this exhausted in my 27 years of life. Today we started school, and boy was it challenging. However; unlike other challenges I have been met with in life that seem to be impossible, this one I am excited about. Today was nothing short of chaos, and I loved every minute of it (well, aside from the fact that my classroom is about 100 degrees with no air circulation!). First and foremost, I should mention that I have 41 students in all. And they understand a lot more English than they let on. Secondly, I should mention that Honduran children don't have NEARLY the teacher behavioral expectations as children in the states do. So I was met this morning with a group of 20 children who barely understood English, 75% of them boys who kicked and punched one another all morning. I don't think we got much done today other than establishing the fact that "we don't kick our friends" and "we keep our hands and feet to ourselves". I should also mention that I made a child cry today (back to the comment on them knowing a lot more English than they let on!). One of my students, Jose Ricardo; was totally out of control and kept ignoring my requests to behave pretending he did not understand. As soon as I threatened to call his mother though; he understood and started to cry! That was not my intention for the first day, but I have to mean business with these kids according to Annie, Jess and Colleen! I must take their advice! Oh, and I should also mention that my class learned how to put their backpacks on the hooks in the back of the classroom. This is challenging enough with 41 kids who speak English. But 41 who speak Spanish? It is a miracle! This is going to be by far the most difficult job I have ever encountered, but I am determined to do it well! Anyways, more about school tomorrow. I am beyond exhausted right now, but I know you are all anxiously awaiting an update, so I wanted to let you know that I survived the day! Love and miss you all!
Oh yeah..and this entry wouldn't be complete without mentioning this weekend. On Saturday night, I went to a Honduran wedding! I was at the Colonia (where we lived up until last night) and Annie came home and asked if we wanted to go to a wedding. I panicked, thinking I had brought NOTHING super fancy here with me. When I asked what time it was going to start, she said "oh probably a few hours." Well, lo and behold I was in the shower 15 mins later and I heard a honking of a car horn. The people who were taking us had arrived! So I jumped out of the shower (with shampoo still in my hair), threw on a dress with FLIP FLOPS, and ran out the door. We piled 10 people into the back of Henry's family car, and off we went! On the way there, we got caught in a massive rainstorm and had to hide undercover under an overhang on the side of the road! Once there, we danced the Punta and Bachata, and had an absolute blast! I would have to say that Saturday night's festivities were by far the most fun I have had since I arrived here in Honduras. I had SO much fun with Henry's family, and they were so welcoming. Of course I was initially skeptical to go thinking..."who has random people from other country's at their WEDDING?". But like everything else here, we were not only accepted; but welcomed with open arms! After the party, the groom drove Annie, myself, and Maria all the way back to the Colonia so we didn't have to ride in the rain.
Oh, and I know I was going to keep this short (as I fall asleep here at my computer); but two more sidebars. I KNOW I must be adjusting to life here in Honduras. Last night; I killed a bug the size of my head without flinching (O.k that may be a SLIGHT exaggeration!). And for the best news...Carlos was able to get my computer up and running! Therefore, I will blog as much as possible this week! I miss and love all of you so much!!! Donna, I got your email today! Hope Lauren had a great first day of school!